I know this doesn't look like an inspiring pile of card but it represents a big tick on my mammoth 'To Do' list
Just remnants and off cuts left
- Day invitations - DONE
- Delivered to the Bride - DONE
- RSVPs received - evening list revised - DONE
- Evening invitations - DONE
- Delivered to the Bride - DONE
Now just need to crack on with confetti pouches, favour pouches, place cards, table names, order of service and seating plan!
I'm making a vow, a declaration, a pledge - I'm not doing any more weddings.
I love this particular bride dearly, a sweet colleague, but this is it, I'm done. Wedding stationery isn't a one off creative piece, it's solid days and days of work on the same thing. Actual work, I'm working for nothing, on my precious days off. It doesn't feel creative, it's repetitive. That's mad isn't it?
I'm pants at saying 'No' - I don't like disappointing people, this is not one of my better traits. Perhaps even a bit pathetic because this lovely bride checked it was OK and I kept saying 'Yes'. Oh dear, am I hopeless?
Every time I say 'yes' to something I don't want to make I take away from the possibility of doing something more positive - I have a whole heap of little dresses I'm waiting to make for charity.
I think I need to be a bit less accommodating - I'm not comfortable, I'm off to practice ... has anyone got any 'go to' phrases I can use?
x
Posted with Blogsy
Hi, I feel your pain, particularly for sewing. I generally say something like, "thank you for your interest but I don't take sewing orders." If that doesn't stop the request, the next thing I say is "I charge $25 per hour for every part of the process. An item like the one you're requesting will take x hours. I also do not sew anything with a deadline, as I am very busy and have to spend time dealing with health issues, so you have to still want this in two or three years when it's done." Seriously. I also have a vintage style sassy magnet on my fridge that says "stop me before I volunteer again". I find it helps to explain my own schedule and specify how much time things take. I also would never sew for someone who acts very cavalier about it and clearly would not appreciate all my effort. It's hard but I would rather make my boundaries clear than have major stress about it.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your helpful suggestions - I could certainly try some of those :)
DeleteWish I could help, but I am as useless at saying no as you are. Hence my list of altering bridesmaid dresses and making wedding outfits for various of my friends. I was supposed to start the alterations today, but I just couldn't face it!
ReplyDeleteIf it's any consolation the wedding invitations look as if they are gorgeous. X
Oh Sam, best of luck! Invitations don't even compare to the dresses you have on your to do list - I know you'll do a fab job, can you tackle it a bit at a time?
DeleteActually the invitations are fine, the bride loves them which is the whole point - but I didn't even include a finished photo - shows where I'm at with the whole thing!
I feel for you.. I hate getting combinations of work that I don't want to do.. Be strong and say no next time x
ReplyDeleteThank you Rachel - I'm working on it :)
DeleteIt is sooooo hard to say no. I purposely try to avoid looking at the volunteer notice boards, because I have such a hard time saying no as it is. The thing is I usually underestimate how long the task will take and I overestimate how much time I actually have. Consequently I always regret it and something that I enjoy doing becomes a drag. I wish I could give you any advice, but I fail just as much. However one of the things I have noticed is that people rarely come straight out and ask for favours, so when I am having coffee with people and they are telling me their woes, whenever I want to jump in and offer, I take a drink or a bite instead. It's not a solution, but it makes me stop and think :-)
ReplyDeleteThat's perfect - I'm going to keep emergency supplies with me and eat cake every time I feel a request coming on! I can think of worse ways of dealing with this! :)
ReplyDeleteI so understand.. I too ,am one of those people who DOES NOT know how to say no.. My hubby says, " Just tell them NO". But, I
ReplyDeletedon't do it well. So I am of no help to you. ha.
I really hate when people bring me "mending projects", such as sewing on a button, fixing a zipper, because you like to sew, you like mending??? where did this notion come from? I hate to mend our own clothes. That is not my idea of sewing.. But, I get it all the time.eeeh.
Have a great day.
Oh mending is the worst - I'm notoriously bad at it, you think they'd stop asking me! :)
DeleteHi Jacq - a lot of us have problems saying no - I am in that category as well - but I have learnt to. I guess we don't want to lose friends, but ask yourself if the same friends would provide whatever it is that they do for you (be it office work, accounting, whatever, making a cake) to order and for nothing - have the conversation in your head - and what do you think the answer would be? I've had hard lessons on this one - on how to value myself - I ended up doing a degree in Psychology to sort some of my issues out in being too "nice".
ReplyDeleteHi, I've found everyone's responses so interesting. I was talking to a work colleague yesterday, she is a very talented florist in her spare time. She has stopped agreeing to do the flowers for weddings since last year when, following late changes, both she AND her husband (who knows nothing about flowers but could transport the arrangements in his car) had to take annual leave to get the job done. I found that absolutely staggering. It totally reinforces my conviction, crafting is supposed to be a pleasure for me :)
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